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We say we didn't feel it, but we felt it. We say we didn't see it. Both side. We say we didn't
hear it, but we heard it. We pretend it we never knew it. But we know it Who? All of us. So
that's the intro poem. Alright, chapter one.
Life
After
Death
gunshots Brooklyn born I know the sound no matter whose fingers on the trigger a nigga versus a nega
niggas versus the LA or LA vs niggas gunshots fired anywhere in the world means pay attention.
motherfuckers but after these three shots, I don't hear no clap back running feet or screeching police
sirens. I don't hear no cops calling out bullshit commands like freeze. I don't hear the scream of the
ambulance or the swift beat of the curious run into the scene of the incident. I don't hear the director
calling out cut after having called out action. I don't hear the cheers shout outs or big ups from the VIP
crowd who I know had gathered. Because I am the one who arranged the VIP passes to be the only ones invited to accompany the film crew on my prisoner release day. I can't even hear the howl of the wind
was normally so loud upstate New York where I was locked up that we could hear it from inside the
prison walls. Depending on where we were in the building. Fuck hearing I can't even see everything is
deep black. Oh shit. That's how I know. I went to Santiago and the one who got shot dead. What?
Yeah, I'm sorry. What? Okay, so it opens up with winter having gotten shot, or I'm gonna keep going.
I don't have no big fear of death. I never really even thought about it. 15 years a lot. I knew chicks who
chased that it was a better option over the rough lives they were living. And women who cut themselves beat themselves back other inmates for their meds and swallowed a handful of game changing pills and
one goat. I even knew six chicks who one by one successfully hung themselves. Within those 15 years I served in the prison day room chillin on the yard. When the conversation got on that suicide bullshit. I
stepped off. Everybody know when to Santiago is all about action and hustle, platinum planning.
Making it and taking it in a dead bitch can't do shit. This is fucked up though. seconds after my prison
release. Right when I was about to earn a big bag lights out. I'm dead. When I first approached to do a
reality when I was first approached to do a reality show that was going to be so big
It's so real that it was started with cameras rolling the moment I stepped foot through the prison release
door. I was like, ah, hell no. See the side by side with selleys I have seen bunches of bitches on reality
TV ridiculously planned themselves like crazy. They'd never catch winter Santiago and camera finally
ease and outside with some Department of Corrections issued clothing, which all inmates had to wear
other than the clothes they had on their bag at the time of their arrest. After that vicious fight me and
Simone had on our Brooklyn bar block 15 years ago, right before the cops cops snatch both of us my
clothes were shredded. Yeah, that's how we do it is not a showbiz on camera off camera thing in the
hood. We fight with full firey
taking over the reality show offer while speaking on the prison phone with the show creator and
executive producer, my brother in law Alicia manual I told myself now winter, never let them see you
sweat. Never let them see you down. never reveal even one chink in your armor. Keep your game face
on. Looking at Elijah, I told him, I thought about it like you asked me to do. But I gotta turn you down
for the third time. Let it be the last. Well then negotiate. My sister Portia said who I didn't even know
was on the call that I made to Alicia. Because she remained silent up until the moment I turned him
down. You heard when my husband was out of the show deal? What is winter one out of it. There must
be something you're ready to gain. Just let my husband know what it is winter. You are the star of this
show. Only you can make it happen until you sign the contract. You're in the power position for so
softly. My mind started speeding. That's right. What do I want out of it. But I hated that. I didn't think of it from that angle myself. Caught up in my hustle on the inside. I didn't consider that I was in the power
position in the deal that will go down on the outside even before I get out. This show he's proposing is
not just another prison show. That's right. This show was about me. And it's about me for a reason. After all is said and done. There are about 500,000 bitches serving mandatory minimums for basically no
fucking reason. Besides being the girlfriend of some low level or mid level drug dealer, Alicia choseme
because I'm that bad bitch, regardless of the Royal precisely. Six days after my sister had said over the
phone, well then negotiate. And after referring to my fashion magazine library that spanned over 14
years and was a small source of revenue to me on lockup, I finally realized my list of star demands. The first thing was for Elijah to contact the warden and get get clearance for me to receive a customized
wardrobe and accessories to wear out of the prison on my release day, which coincidentally was in the
winter season. I got you Elijah said calmly, already planned to communicate with the warden and of
course the city officials for the license to the film in the area. And alijah no brand substitutes nothing
generic everything genuine top quality. No matter what anyone says. I told him I knew what I was
about to order. I didn't want to hear him Tell me shit about some crazy fucking animal rights protests. I
know who you are. Elijah says buttering me up. Yo. I don't know about this.
Alright, styling with outerwear says that we get captured on camera first, a hooded white t three quarter
length pure mink coat.
White three quarter length, pure meat coat. Red Python sky hat die high boots, a red alligator Birkin bag with an activated iPhone inside in my name, red Gucci dragon gloves. Oh, and if you're going to
continue to film with me being driven home, I want my own house
for said you were going to move in with us. She already decorated a whole a whole wing just for you. It has your own door and driveway, your own bathroom, bedroom, living room and full kitchen and even
your own mailbox once you see it. And since we are all family, I'm sure you want to stay besides is
located in Brooklyn. Truth is I want my own house. I plan to have some of my girls move in with me.
We plan to build a business together. Okay, how about a compromise? Something that will make you in
my wife and your girls straight and satisfied. Elijah swiftly shifted the Congo like someone accustomed
to those tough negotiations. I wanted a Porsche was listening in on this call again. But I didn't ask. And
if she was she didn't say shit and I couldn't detect any extra breathing noises or movements. We will put your girls up to five of them and the reality show cast and pay them a nice appearance fee. This way
they can afford their own apartments. You can live with us like Porsche planned. I was smiling because
I was thinking about it. I thought it would play out better if I am the only star of the show. I make all the paper and invest the paper into the business that I own and allow my girls to run it so they could earn
off of what I have provided. Elijah must have said something because he interrupted my thoughts and
said winter. You're the star. Your deal is worth 50,000 per show six episodes six episodes.
Oh
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